“PEOPLE with dementia become just like children.”

I was having dinner with some lovely friends the other night and we were discussing the sad illness that is dementia.

My friends were rather shocked when I declared that I was reluctant to agree with this statement being banded about.

To me, it is akin to saying that water polo and swimming are the same.

Indeed, they are both poolbased and require swimming ability, however, they are fundamentally different sports necessitating specific skills.

Dementia presents in a number of ways.

From a personal point of view I care for a family member who suffers from early stage Alzheimer’s but, that said, most of us will have had links with a dementia sufferer.

I gather that one in six people over the age of 80 suffer with this debilitating illness.

Why did I not agree with the statement?

In a nutshell the comment was far too simplistic.

If dementia sufferers revert to being like children then it would follow that their management and care would be the same as that of children.

We could re-use our books on ‘toddler taming’ or ‘raising children’! On the contrary.

There are many books and resources on the market designed specifically for dementia sufferers and their carers.

I have spent hours reading, researching and going to courses in order to better help my loved one through these life and character changing times. Having brought up two wonderful boys, now adults, there seems to be very little comparison between the care given except, of course, eternal love and a desire to keep them all safe.

Children have brains like sponges, they are constantly soaking up information, learning and developing new skills.

Dementia sufferers, to oversimplify, also have brains like sponges — but conversely there are vacant areas in the brain where they have no memories on which to draw.

There is no reasoning with them.

They generally haven’t just forgotten — they can’t access what isn’t there anymore.

We may have been exasperated enough to say to our children in the past, “If you’re not dressed in five minutes we won’t be able to go to the park,” or wherever.

Within two minutes they are standing ready at the door!

We would never dream of treating our elderly in this way.

Fear (frequently associated with hallucinations) is generally a major factor for those with dementia.

Hopefully our children will never have experienced this degree of (often constant) fear.

Strange behaviour of the dementia sufferer commonly can be attributed to fear or pain which they are unable to express and requires really careful management.

I started my nurse training 32 years ago.

During that time I have witnessed the occasional carer who has treated a dementia sufferer like a child and showing no respect for the patient nor the illness.

Thankfully we are now becoming better informed through the media and some superb organisations.

I feel really passionate about this subject and could share my thoughts in much greater detail but, for now, I would urge you to think twice before saying, “People with dementia become just like children.”

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