NADINE Harkness faced down SAS recruiters, took on brutal army exercises and nearly died from a viral infection, but she credits a reality television show with helping her wrestle trauma in her personal life.
The 34-year-old aviation firefighter, from Livingston, West Lothian, has been open and frank about her history of sexual violence and domestic abuse.
Ms Harkness now wants to empower others to conquer their inner demons by setting up her own charity, Speaking Out Bravely.
She sought triumph over adversity when she signed up to take part in the Channel 4 series SAS: Who Dares Wins.
She was among the first group of women to take part in the show, where recruits are forced to go through “hell” in the Andes, mirroring the Ministry of Defence’s decision to open up SAS selection to women.
Former soldier Ant Middleton, instructor and TV hardman in the show, didn’t cut the female recruits any slack during Ms Harkness’ stint on the show – at one point yelling “Are you having a f******* baby?” as she struggled to breathe during one brutal challenge.
READ MORE: How the comfort of cooking is helping abused women
It was only when a doctor said the firefighter was going to die from a bronchial and viral infection that she was forced to bow out of the television challenge.
Ms Harkness insisted she would have completed the show run had she not been forced to spend five days in a Chilean hospital.
Having been honest about her past on the show, since taking on ambassador roles with Scottish Women’s Aid and Rape Crisis Scotland, she wants to use her experience to help others.
Ms Harkness told how she was sexually assaulted twice by a family member and was later branded a liar and murderer when her alleged attacker took his own life.
She also said she was the victim of domestic abuse while in a short-lived relationship with a violent boyfriend.
“I am a strong woman who has been through domestic assault, sexual assault, but built herself up again from the ground. Hopefully, it will help other people,” she said.
“I was beaten up by a man from Glasgow, who if Celtic lost to Rangers that was usually when he drove through and battered 10 bells of c*** out of me. That’s why I don’t like football, because I always have that in my head.
“It was edited out in the show, but I tried to take my own life after what had happened with sexual assault. I woke up and decided that’s it, I cannot go on.
“It is something I am trying really hard to leave in the past and help people in the future.”
The aim of Speak Out Bravely is to get those who have suffered abuse together as a group to talk about what has happened to them, to speak out publicly like she has if they want to, and organise outdoor adventure trips as part of their therapy.
“Speak Out Bravely can be for someone just saying they need help, or are not coping, or they are scared of X, Y and Z and just want to come forward and meet other people,” she said.
“It could lead to them going to the police and reporting something, but they don’t have to do that if they don’t have to. It is about giving people the chance to hold their head up high and say this is what I have to deal with and having the courage and support from the campaign to do it.”
Ms Harkness’ decision to launch the charity was partly inspired by her work with Project RV, an organisation she co-founded, which helps support veterans and their families with needs that are not covered by the MoD or their insurance.
The non-profit project is described as a “mind, body, spirit, and purpose driven programme focused on health and/or integration”, to enable veterans to take part in activities and projects for recreational and health benefits.
“We lost one of our veterans to suicide a couple of years ago, so that was what kickstarted it,” she said. “We take them on adventurous outdoor training – we have done abseiling, clay pigeon shooting, gorge walking – and take them horse riding.
“They tend to think they cannot ask for help. That is where we end up with suicides, and a lot of the lads say they struggle with depression. “I learned how to be a survival instructor and, working with Project RV, you can see the effects the outdoors and nature has on mental health and the spirit of people.”
A key objective of Speak Out Bravely is to stop people suffering in silence.
“The campaign is there to help people talk about what they want to talk about and face what they have to face through a support network,” she said.
“With this you can’t just jump in. With mental health you take one step at a time to make sure you are getting things right. “With [Project RV] the lads might say there is nothing wrong with them and they just want to meet their old muckers. There is a bit of banter with the Paras and the Marines, and that is the just the start.
“Our motto is Invictus Maneo, meaning I remain unbeaten. Very apt considering many of these veterans are battling through some difficult times physically and mentally.”
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